Homeschooling: The Ups and Downs, Part 2

Don't get me wrong, we have a lot of good, fun, easy days. But we definitely have days where I want to bang my head against the wall and scream "What was I thinking?!" I knew that I had to sit down and "teach" him. Duh, of course! But what I didn't realize is that my son has to have my full attention if he is going to accomplish any schoolwork. I thought that while he was completing a handwriting page, or anything that doesn't require active teaching/explaining, I could load the dishwasher or put away some laundry. He could do some of it on his own, right? Boy, was I clueless. At six years old, Jonah doesn't have the discipline required to sit down and diligently finish his assignments. Why did I think he would? If I so much as move, or even become distracted, he is daydreaming or sneaking off to play. He likes to be silly and intentionally give the wrong answer sometimes and when I am trying to gently coax him into doing it right the first time, I want to hiss, "Just get it over with so we can be done! You're wasting time! If you would just do it we would finish quicker!"

It really is a job. I almost cannot do any housework during school hours if I want him to do schoolwork. My focus must be 100% on him if he's going to finish anything. I know that with time it will improve and he will get better about completing his work on his own. And it has gotten better over the last month or so. He does work independently some of the time. He just does so much better if I am sitting at the table with him because if I wander off and seem distracted, he very quickly loses focus.

It seems like my house is a mess most of the time. And I have learned that I have to accept that for now. Thankfully my husband is either okay with it or knows not to say anything or else experience my wrath. ;)

It's hard because while Jonah and I are working, Nathan wants attention and sometimes becomes a distraction. I've tried to get Nathan to sit at the table with us and color or practice writing but he usually doesn't want to and I'm not going to make him. I don't need any more tantrums! I hate that Nathan can't always get the attention he wants.

We had a bit of a rough start. And to be honest, I think the biggest problem was me! I was so used to having my own schedule and doing what I wanted to do. In the beginning we'd fall behind on schoolwork because I didn't want to deal with it. If we were busy in the morning running errands or going to the gym it was really hard to make us get the work done in the afternoon because afternoons used to be my "me time" and I didn't want to give it up! When the boys were little, they'd nap in the afternoons. Then when they stopped taking naps they had free time to watch a movie or play the Wii so that I could still have some peace and quiet in the afternoons. I've had to give that up when we don't start school first thing in the morning. And now that I've finally been disciplined myself, it is going so much better!

I had also accepted too many job assignments in September and October and it was taking its toll on schoolwork and my life. I was busy and stressed, trying to work so I could earn enough money for our Christmas trip to Chicago. Even though I only averaged one or two days a week, it was enough to cause us to fall behind and I was making it too hard for Jonah to make up the work. Raymond and I have since decided that I am not going to be able to work like that again. Every once in a while is fine, but I'm unable to juggle so many balls and keep all of them up. It was too much for me and too much for my little family.

My priorities have been forced to change. Schoolwork is now high on the list. I see how easy it is to slack off as teacher and the temptation is always there to put assignments off, particularly ones I don't really enjoy. But I refuse to let my child's education suffer because I am lazy. It's amazing to me how God has used homeschooling to reveal areas of sin in my life; laziness, a short-temper, impatience.

And unfortunately, it reveals sin in the heart of my child, too. Just a few weeks ago, we had our ugliest day yet. It was a Monday morning and I had allowed the kids to turn on the TV while I exercised and showered. Once I was ready for the day, I told Jonah that we would start school after the show they were watching was over. There was still 20 minutes before the half hour program would be over but I didn't want him to get upset if I told him to turn it off right away. I thought I was being nice by giving him a heads-up. Well once it was over, I told the kids to turn off the TV and for Jonah to start schoolwork. He immediately had a bad attitude. I was putting something away in the kitchen when Nathan cried out, "Ow! Jonah hit my shoulder!" I asked Jonah if he hit his brother. He scowled at me, which really surprised me, and said, "Yes, because it's Nathan's fault I have to do schoolwork!" WHAT?! He had such a sour attitude that I disciplined him and told him to go sit on his bed. He cried as he walked to his room but I noticed that he very quickly stopped crying. After a couple of minutes I had Nathan go with me so that Jonah could apologize. I walked in their bedroom and Jonah glared at me and quickly turned around to face the wall so I couldn't see him! I was furious! I asked him why he was being so grumpy and he shouted, "I never get a break!" What the heck are you talking about and who are you? I wondered. I was truly flabbergasted. It was Monday morning and we hadn't even started schoolwork! He just had the weekend! It honestly felt like I was catching a glimpse into the future teen years and it made me feel sick. After a very stern lecture from me (and then another one later that evening after Raymond got home from work) I think he was finally repentant and actually sorry for his behavior and for hitting his brother.

What really confused me is that once we started school that morning, his attitude slowly improved and we even had fun! I still have no idea where that came from but I'm grateful it has so far only been a one time thing.

I have said again and again to myself that if homeschooling becomes a constant battleground then I don't think I could do it anymore. I hope and pray it never comes to that, but if it really is not working for us at some point, I hope I can accept it and figure out what is best for each of my boys.

We've definitely had days where Jonah has burst into tears over an assignment because it was "too hard" (and really it wasn't, it was simply an excuse because he didn't want to do it!) or because I wouldn't let him have a drink/snack/break.

Despite our rocky start, I'm so thankful that I can now say we've found our groove and it has gotten leaps and bounds easier for us. There are a lot of little joys and triumphs that make up our day. I'm really starting to love homeschooling and Jonah is thriving.

to be continued