It's Been a While!

So I'm currently trying to keep my feet up since last night I rammed my poor pinky toe into the footboard of my bed. *sigh* The toe is black and blue and swollen and throbbing. Hobbling around hurts too much. Might as well use this time to write a blog post.

I'm eventually going to write a follow-up post or two on my other "new" blog. Yeah, the one I don't use. I thought I wanted to be open and write a lot. Nope. It feels too vulnerable. I've come to realize that writing and posting is scary and hitting "publish post" for anyone to read my thoughts makes me want to break out in hives. I'm selfish too, I only blog to get comments so when I don't get any, or get very few, it doesn't feel worth it. So I'll close up that blog soon, once I update a couple things.

Blogging is such a weird thing for me. I worry far too much about what I write about. I wonder if people don't comment because I sound braggy, or self-righteous, or snobby, or whatever. I have to remind myself that I'm not so good at commenting on other people's blogs anymore either. And to be brutally honest, I don't feel motivated to comment anymore when people don't comment on mine.

It's all about me. Obviously. ;)

I hope *someone* can relate. And if not, that's okay.

OK, I don't even know what I'm trying to say here. I guess I'm trying to explain my absence.

I'm not sure I'll even keep this blog going. I'm trying to cut out things that make me feel guilty. Things that don't matter in the grand scheme of things. I went through a bunch of scrapbook supplies I have held on to for years. I don't scrapbook anymore. I haven't really since having kids. Seeing those supplies collecting dust and taunting me, reminding me that I haven't used them isn't helping. So I found someone who wants it and I'm giving it away.

I don't go to the gym anymore. I quit back in February. (Don't get me started on how that was almost impossible. Stupid, misleading contracts.) It was hard to make time to go to the gym. It required a lot of driving to get there. I hated wasting the money. Good-bye, gym. Hello, 10 pounds. *sigh*

I don't coupon. The stacks of newspapers and coupon inserts started piling up. It was taking me literally hours to put a shopping list together each week. It was sucking the life out of me. Yeah, I wanted to save money, but it was becoming way too time consuming. I know some people take very little time to do it and do it well. I'm apparently too much of a perfectionist, so it was not. working. at. all. Good-bye, coupons.

We finished school last week. First grade is DONE! The most surprising part of it is, I have felt such a huge burden lifted off of me. I didn't even realize how much stress homeschooling has been causing me. The change has been drastic. Wow.

Now, I'm still committed to homeschooling. I don't have plans to stop, yet. But it has made me realize that I *have* to find ways to reduce stress from my life. I get easily stressed though. Probably more than the average person does. I think a big change will be, getting the kids more involved in helping out around the house. My husband had the kids vacuuming, sweeping and mopping a couple of weekends ago. A lightbulb has gone off in my head. Why on earth hadn't I thought of that before? They are getting big enough and old enough to really start helping out. It's time to use them! Homeschooling has been a full time job and housework suffers greatly around here. I don't seem to be able to do both jobs well. If one is going all right, the other suffers. School is more important than housework. But when the house is a mess, my stress level goes sky high. When schooling fall behinds my stress is high too. I have got to figure out a better way to mesh both! Getting more help from the kids (and my husband!) will greatly help, I think. My husband has been so sweet and really tries to help out more lately. He makes the bed if I haven't gotten to it, he unloads the dishwasher without being asked, etc. Makes this girl's heart swoon.

Are there chores that your kids do? I need ideas! Right now they are responsible for making their own beds, putting away toys, helping put away their own clean laundry (but not much), putting their own dishes away/clearing the table after dinner. We're trying to get them more self-sufficient in the shower/bathing themselves. I'm going to start having them sweep the kitchen and bathroom floors. I figure if they do it every couple of days, even if it isn't perfect, it will reduce the grime and dirt build up so it is easier to deep clean myself. They can help vacuum too. I'm sure their future wives will appreciate it.

That's probably enough rambling for now... Sorry if this has been sorta depressing, I really do have to work at being sunny sometimes.