Homeschooling: The Ups and Downs, Part 1

I know I haven't blogged much about homeschooling. I posted a couple of times about it but now I want to do a real heart-to-heart post on my thoughts and what I've learned in the last 5 months. Granted, this is only my experience and every homeschooling mom has her own.

Homeschooling is wonderful, fulfilling and bursting with sweet moments. But it can be hard and frustrating as well! This post is going to focus on the downs, but that way I can end my little series on a good note so bear with me!

The only way I can think to describe it is to compare it to having your first baby. You read books on pregnancy and how to care for newborns. You think you're prepared. You talk to other moms and ask questions. You take childbirth classes. You hear the horror stories about labor and delivery. You can even think you're an expert on kids. You've been a nanny or a babysitter. You took care of siblings/cousins/friends/neighbors' kids. You have experience. You can even secretly think I'm totally going to be an awesome mom. All of these moms out there tell me it is hard and challenging, and I know that, but MY baby is going to be easy. We're going to have a wonderful life. I realize that there are bad days but I'm going to love being a Mommy and I'm going to love and adore my baby. How hard can it be?

That is exactly how I felt as I approached motherhood 6+ years ago. I was floating on cloud nine, waiting anxiously for my baby to arrive. And then: boom! No matter what your labor and delivery experience (my first one was pretty easy) you're on an adrenaline rush and despite your best attempts, you cannot sleep. At first it is sheer joy and exhilaration. You're in love with this baby that came out of you. But then once that rush wears off you still can't sleep. Because the baby won't let you. You're getting less sleep than you've ever experienced in your life. You don't think it is humanly possible to live because you can barely function on the short bursts of sleep you're getting, if any. Even if baby sleeps, you can't. You obsessively worry, Is my baby still breathing? Is he alive? Is he about to wake up, just as I finally fall asleep? Wait, what was that noise? I just know he's going to wake up!

Don't forget about the way your body betrays you. Your postpartum stomach literally hangs there in soft, fleshy folds like a deflated beach ball while you look on in shock and horror. You want to cry because you don't think it's possible for your tummy to look anything like it used to pre-baby. I knew there would be postpartum bleeding, I just had no idea it would gush down my legs the first time I got out of bed after delivery. Your hormones are out of whack and you want to cry, laugh, and possibly gouge someone's eyes out because of something ridiculous you've blown out of proportion, all at the same time. Nursing is more painful than you ever imagined. I was sure my newborn baby had a mouth full of razor sharp teeth because of the pain I felt. I wanted to cry every time he needed to latch on. And how I resented that screaming baby for wanting to eat ALL DAY AND NIGHT! Can't my body just have a break?!

Have I completely frightened you?

Hear me out, if you can keep reading.

I read books on homeschooling before we started. I talked to people who used to or currently homeschool. I got opinions on curriculum, schedules, activities, homeschool groups, etc. I researched all kinds of things online. Heck, I was homeschooled myself! I thought. I know what I'm getting into here! I have a sweet, happy and compliant child that I'm beginning this adventure with. Yeah, we'll have our days when we butt heads but it is kindergarten. How hard can it be?

Then reality came crashing down.

We started on a high. Jonah was excited, I had my assignment book planned out for the week and we were going to have a fantastic school year. But it didn't take long for the newness and anticipation to wear off. In fact, it only took a couple of days! As I posted about here I thought, Oh my word, I'm in for a very, very, very long year. Schoolwork was no where near as fun as Jonah thought it would be. He wanted to be able to pick every assignment he did and wasn't happy when I told him that we couldn't just randomly choose books to work through without building up and working toward them.

It was hard for Jonah to adjust to having a routine that included schoolwork. He couldn't just play whenever he wanted to. School isn't all fun and games. It involves learning and is sometimes boring. I try to make it fun, but let's be honest, it just isn't always fun and full of entertainment.

Like motherhood, this wasn't going to be nearly as easy as I expected...

In an effort to not make this post miles long and cause your eyes to swim, I'm going to break it up into a few posts.

to be continued...